Why Fixing Isn’t the Same as Connecting: Emotional Intelligence and Relationship-Centered Access

By Sarah Wheeler, M.Ed., M.S. Founder | Building Bridges Global™

Image Description: Four individuals walk in unison, outlined in white against a vibrant pink background, their paths converging in a harmonious stride.

In a world that runs on productivity, efficiency, and instant solutions, it’s easy to fall into the trap of trying to “fix” communication. We see this everywhere, especially in conversations about Deaf access, interpreting, and inclusion. Well-meaning people often ask:

“What tool can we use?” “Is there an app for that?” “How can we make this easier?”

And while these questions aren’t bad, they often reveal a deeper misunderstanding: the idea that communication is a barrier to overcome, rather than a relationship to be built.

Communication Is Not a Code to Crack

When access is framed as a problem to solve, the solutions that emerge tend to center convenience for the hearing party, not connection for all involved.

• Captions are added but the speaker never slows down.

• Interpreters are brought in, but the environment stays emotionally unsafe.

• Systems change their tools, but not their behaviors.

And that’s the real issue. Because communication isn’t just language. It’s emotional. It’s relational. It’s a living process of presence, attention, and growth.

Relationship-Centered Access > One-Way Solutions

Real communication, especially across culture, language, or ability, isn’t supposed to be easy all the time. It’s not about removing discomfort. It’s about learning how to be in discomfort together.

The most meaningful moments I’ve seen in my work, as a Coda, as an interpreter, as an educator, haven’t come from perfect fluency or clever hacks. They’ve come from people willing to stay, to stumble, to witness, and to try again.

That’s emotional intelligence in action.That’s relationship-centered access.

Fixing Makes It Easier. Presence Makes It Real.

We live in a “solution economy”, where everything is pitched as a service or shortcut. But relationships don’t work that way. Relationships aren’t made to be “fixed.” They’re made to be experienced. To be cultivated. To stretch us.To grow us. To reveal the places where we still have learning to do.

If we’re not careful, the fixation on solutions can lead us away from the very thing we’re trying to create: connection.

What We Actually Need

What Deaf communities, and many others, need isn't more quick fixes. It’s more people willing to:

-Slow down

-Learn emotional intelligence alongside cultural humility

-Value relationships over convenience

-Let presence become the path, not the product

Tools can support that. Interpreters can support that. But without the relational core, even the best tech, accessibility laws or training will fall flat.

Final Thought

True access doesn’t come from what’s easy. It comes from what’s honest. From being seen. From showing up. From letting communication be messy, human, and mutual.

Because at the end of the day: We don’t need to fix the relationship. We need to be in it.

Want more on emotional intelligence, access, and interpreting? Explore The Interpreter School™ or sign up for our weekly reflection series.